Well, I think my illness is fighting back. I've been carrying it for well over a month now... and it blows! My evening job has me working outdoors in the freezing cold trying to sing. Now, I'm no Einstein... but I don't think that is going to help my case. I want to leave work and go home and sleep.
I really hope I get off work in time to watch Primetime on ABC tonight. I was a dumbass and didn't set my VCR to tape it... I guess I'll have to drive like the wind (well, not dangerously, of course).

I'm trying to memorize these frickin' carols. It's amazing how you can hear these songs every year since you were born, and you still don't know more than the first verse! It's kinda embarassing! I wish I knew them better than I do.

Saturday needs to get here, because I'm going to see the EE FOTR at the theatre with my friend, Sarah.

I wish I was more exciting right now, but alas!

Ya know... it really sucks when you find yourself in the situation of possibly being in love with someone. It's been 5 or 6 years since I've felt this way about anyone, and now I know once more why I've been trying to avoid it. I'm good friends with this person, and there's a chance that there could be more... because I get stupid little signs, that perhaps I'm interpreting wrong... but who knows!? I haven't seen this person much since we worked together this summer, and everything was cool. I was like, "Oh sure... it's nothing, I'm fine." But last weekend I went to go see his play, and then I saw him... and ug! Ya know, here I thought I had shaken those feelings off... but no good! So, yeah. I just don't know what to do. I really want him to remain in my life, even if it's just as a friend. So, I refrain from saying anything. I've had too many experiences of scaring people away, and I don't feel comfortable. It sucked to loose those people from my life at the time, but now I don't give a shit (cause I realize that they were never good people... I was just infatuated). I think it would hurt much more to lose this guy from my life. He is the dearest person in the world, and he makes me feel good about myself... and damn it if it doesn't work out! But, I'll strive forward. I always have before (well, it's not like I've had much to strive from lately).
I guess I'm just sick of being alone. I've basically been alone my whole life. I've never had anyone be there for me to life my spirits (excluding the parents and friends), and I want it so bad that it hurts. Why!? Why does this happen!